Friends, we have some absolutely thrilling news to share that’s been bubbling under the surface for quite some time!
Yes, you read that title correctly, and no, this is not a drill! This autumn, our UDH crew is expanding, and we’re beyond excited to welcome a new, decidedly non-furry member to our family. 😉
I’ve finally carved out some time to put together this long-anticipated post. To start, I’ll address some of the initial questions that friends and family have already posed. Rest assured, if your burning questions aren’t covered here, I’ll follow up with another post in the near future with even more details!
Surprise! A Little One is On the Way – Telling Our Parents
Sharing this joyous news with our parents was an unforgettable moment, especially trying to capture their genuine surprise. We put together a special video to capture these priceless reactions. You can watch the emotional reveal below!
A few memorable moments from the video:
- At one point, I had to playfully tell my mom to slow down her present-opening so my dad could keep up with the big reveal.
- Attempting to perfectly time a “bleep” for sensitive reactions proved far trickier than anticipated! 😂
- My mom’s immediate assumption that the baby was a “he” was pure intuition, not based on any knowledge of the baby’s sex, which we hadn’t even discovered ourselves at that point (more on that later in the post!).
- The affectionate nicknames for my parents, “Sausage” and “Cheese,” originated from an amusing inside joke. K’s niece called his parents “Mino” and “Pa,” which struck me as distinctly Southern. Since my parents hail from Wisconsin, K playfully bestowed these new, equally charming monikers upon them.
All Your Burning Pregnancy Questions Answered
We know you’re brimming with questions, and we’re thrilled to share more about this incredible journey. Here’s a rundown of what many of you have been curious about!
The Big Revelation: Yes, I’m Pregnant!
That’s right, folks – I’M PREGNANT! And typing those words out for the first time feels incredibly surreal and exciting. We’re officially “with child,” “preggers,” “bun’s in the oven,” and “in the family way.” I’ve been amazed by the delightful array of quirky and often hilarious phrases people use to describe pregnancy – many of which I’m encountering for the very first time!
When Is The Due Date?
Our little bundle of joy, Baby Carter, is expected to make their grand entrance into the world on November 5, 2020. The countdown is officially on!
So, How Far Along Are You?
As of this announcement, I am 21 weeks pregnant. We’re just a little over the halfway mark – or, as I like to say, our bun is just a tad over “half-baked”! It feels like a significant milestone, moving past the initial stages and looking forward to the second half of this adventure.
“Baby Carter”? What’s In a Name?
For those wondering about the “Carter” in “Baby Carter,” it’s K’s last name. It feels wonderfully fitting to refer to our developing little one this way for now, symbolizing their future place within our family.
Was This Pregnancy A Surprise? Our Fertility Journey
The answer to this question is both no, and yes, all at once! 😂 I recognize that discussing such personal matters online can be quite intimate, but since I haven’t publicly shared our family planning discussions before, I understand it might come as a delightful shock to anyone outside our closest circle. K and I have been discussing starting a family for a considerable period, and we had informally set a “go date,” so to speak, around my birthday in May.
This next part delves into some sensitive territory, involving personal health and doctor visits, which I have mixed feelings about sharing. A couple of years ago, due to self-employment, I reluctantly had to change insurance providers. This meant parting ways with a beloved doctor I had seen for many years. My new doctor, while perfectly adequate, was a bit more assertive about the “urgency of having a baby,” often referencing my age. Coupled with hearing stories from numerous friends who faced struggles with infertility or miscarriage, I genuinely assumed our journey to conception might also take a significant amount of time.
While I wouldn’t say I was overly worried, K and I had frequent conversations about it. We constantly pondered: Were we truly ready? Should we actively start trying, just in case we encounter difficulties, potentially leading to a year or two (or more) before a baby arrives? We were keen to keep our parents’ hopes in check and avoided informing them of our specific plans. Our knowledge of their and our siblings’ past pregnancies was limited to general details, not the full complexities, so we didn’t press for more information.
Our approach leading up to my birthday was a relaxed “if it happens, it happens.” My initial plan was to meticulously track my cycles using a fertility app, gather that data, and present it to my doctor in May to discuss our options further. My doctor had strongly implied that if fertility issues were present, we shouldn’t delay seeking additional help. I’d honestly left my last few annual check-ups feeling as though my ovaries might be gathering dust!
However, fate had a delightful twist in store. I discovered I was pregnant the week after WorkbenchCon in February – roughly four months earlier than we had anticipated! ❤️🤯 This came with a palpable sense of shock for both K and me. I casually took my very first pregnancy test, fully expecting a negative result, only for “the stick to turn blue” almost instantly. K was traveling for work when I broke the news. I had asked him previously if he wanted a more elaborate reveal, but he insisted I tell him the moment I knew! I suppose nothing truly prepares you for such a life-altering moment, so in essence, it was a planned surprise, delivered with an unexpected timeline.
How Did Our Family React to The Pregnancy News?
Sharing our exciting news with family was a cascade of emotional reveals, each unique and precious. I told my sister almost immediately after our first ultrasound, sending a quick text and eagerly awaiting her response. She, too, was unaware of our baby plans, and her reaction, involving an expletive or two, was absolutely priceless. It was incredibly fun to have her in on the secret, sharing that special bond for a while. We also looped in one of K’s brothers and his wife, as K was keen to experience the “sharing high” of such wonderful news.
We intentionally waited until we received most of the genetic testing results before announcing to our wider families. K is the youngest of four, with one niece, and my mom had often joked that she never expected either of her children to have kids, affectionately calling our dogs her “grandpups.” So, this was destined to be a monumental surprise for everyone!
I revealed the news to my parents at 12 weeks, on my birthday, via video call. Many of you know that my dad and I share a birthday, which presented the perfect opportunity to playfully “trick” them into discovering the news. I carefully wrapped two sonogram pictures within a frame and placed it in a gift bag. My mom picked it up earlier that afternoon when she dropped off my birthday cake (she was quite disheartened that our usual joint birthday celebration was canceled due to social distancing). During the call, I instructed them to open one frame each, upside down. My sister, Em, recorded their reactions for me. My mom was utterly shocked, cycling through multiple priceless reactions, while my dad remained more characteristically neutral. Her first, second, and third reactions were absolutely unforgettable. My only wish at the end was for a warm hug, leaving me with a touch of bittersweetness.
We extended our wait by about a month before telling K’s parents. He was determined to share the news in person and was willing to patiently wait for social distancing guidelines to relax slightly, especially since his mom is immunocompromised, requiring us to quarantine everyone involved first. Our announcement, unintentionally, brought them such overwhelming excitement that they didn’t get a wink of sleep that first night! We told them immediately upon our late-night arrival, after much debate about whether to wait until morning. K and I had already held onto the secret for so long, we just couldn’t wait to spill the beans! I still feel a little bad for their sleepless night, though.
In the following weeks, my mom and dad happily spread the news to the rest of my family, and K made additional calls to his side. This extended timeline for family announcements is precisely why I waited so long to draft this post. We simply couldn’t share our joy online until all the grandparents were in the know!
Was It Hard To Keep Our Pregnancy A Secret?
Absolutely, yes! Keeping such exciting news under wraps proved incredibly challenging, especially for someone like me who isn’t naturally adept at keeping secrets. I found myself dropping subtle hints on Instagram, even sharing a version of the charming duckling clip from our announcement video on my IG stories. The anticipation and desire to share were almost unbearable at times!
Do You Know The Baby’s Sex? Our Creative Gender Reveal
Yes, we do! We discovered the baby’s sex during genetic testing, around 12 weeks into the pregnancy. While I had never envisioned a traditional “gender reveal party,” I did want to make the announcement special. So, I had the doctor share the information directly with my sister and her husband before K and I knew ourselves. This felt like a wonderful way to involve my sister in our big news, making it feel more real and special for everyone.
I entrusted her with the creative task of revealing the sex to us during the same video call where K and I had told my parents about the pregnancy. Knowing my sister’s flair for creativity, I anticipated something truly unique, and she certainly delivered! It was incredibly fun to watch her take the helm and put her personal spin on the reveal. I’ll be sharing that specific part of the video in a future post, so stay tuned for another joyful moment!
Ultrasound Photos: Our Approach to Sharing
A question we’ve received is about the absence of ultrasound photos on our social media or blog (beyond their brief appearance in the announcement video). The simple answer is, I’m just not comfortable sharing them online. It’s perfectly common for many expectant parents to post sonograms as part of their pregnancy announcement. After all, at that early stage, there are no baby pictures, the sex is often still a mystery, and the tell-tale baby bump or tiny outfits might not yet be part of the visual story. Even sharing a positive pregnancy test can make some people feel a little squeamish with a “there’s pee on this!” sentiment. So, it raises the valid question: how else do you visually capture something that isn’t yet fully photographable?
For us, this falls into the “great for you, but not for me” category of personal choices. I once saw a Facebook pregnancy announcement from a friend of a friend, where a fraternity brother of the father humorously commented, “See the inside of Julie’s uterus, check.” That witty remark, in a nutshell, perfectly encapsulates my own feelings on the matter! 😂
Navigating what to share and what to keep private in this digital age involves countless decisions. Anyone who has met me in person knows I tend to be an open book, but we all have our personal “weirdness meters.” For me, sharing ultrasound images leans towards the “fine to share in person, but not for the internet” side. It’s about finding that balance that feels right for our family. 🤷♀️
The Unprecedented Journey: Pregnancy During a Pandemic
Ah, yes, the elephant in the room. I discovered I was pregnant towards the end of February 2020, precisely as the world began to navigate unprecedented lockdowns. This means my entire pregnancy has unfolded against the backdrop of the Coronavirus pandemic. I’ve devoured numerous blog posts about adapting to pregnancy from “normal” times to “pandemic” times, but for us, there was no pre-pandemic “normal” to begin with – only this unique, unfolding reality.
On one hand, the early days of social distancing surprisingly aligned well with being newly pregnant and working from home. My first trimester was marked by pretty severe fatigue and morning sickness, so with events canceled and everyone staying home, I didn’t experience much FOMO (fear of missing out). My typical demanding schedule for projects and “Mount Inbox” naturally slowed down without requiring me to disclose my absence, as everyone else was also adjusting. Meanwhile, K thoughtfully set up a home office, which significantly eased those challenging first couple of months.
On the other hand, this journey has been filled with so much newness, and many of the warm, fuzzy, and traditionally “fun” aspects one might anticipate with a pregnancy announcement – celebrating with family and friends, baby showers, gender reveal parties – have largely been stripped away. Sharing news with family became reliant on phone and video calls, replacing the heartfelt in-person moments we had long envisioned. I highly doubt there will be any sort of baby shower or major celebration until well after the baby is born. Pregnancy itself is a massive adjustment, a transition from “life before baby” to “life after.” There are moments when I feel the pandemic only amplified how instantaneous that loss of our “old life” truly was. I consciously try to focus on the positive aspects, but I must admit, I do get very sad about the expectations I had for this extraordinary time in my life. Zoom calls are a wonderful tool, but they can’t fully replace the deep desire I had to tell my parents in person, a moment I had imagined countless times. This situation also fuels a myriad of anxious questions that K and I constantly think and talk about.
The mantra “take one day at a time” is easy to utter but incredibly difficult to practice in a constantly shifting landscape like this, especially with guidelines changing every few weeks. Will we find a safe way to enjoy a “babymoon” together? Can we manage a maternity photo session while ensuring everyone’s safety? Will K even be allowed in the delivery room? Will we be able to capture those precious newborn photographs? These are the thoughts that often bring sadness and uncertainty. Where there was no FOMO before, I now find myself grappling with a significant amount of it.
Adding to this stress, I honestly find myself getting EXTREMELY angry at the blatant disregard some people show for face masks. Georgia, where we live, has a high number of cases and a distressing number of individuals who simply “don’t give a shit.” This is incredibly stressful at a time when I am supposed to be prioritizing stress reduction. Given my pregnancy and asthma, I am immunocompromised, so we are meticulously taking every precaution possible while still managing our work and daily lives. To witness others argue that their personal comfort or “freedom” outweighs the protection of the elderly (our parents! K’s parents!), the disabled, essential workers, and those with vulnerable partners makes my blood BOIL. It is SO profoundly hurtful. I’ve worn a mask in my DIY work for years due to sawdust and solvents, prioritizing my lung health. It takes some getting used to, but unless there’s a genuine medical necessity not to, I simply cannot comprehend why it’s considered too inconvenient to care. It’s such a small gesture, yet its potential consequences, which I believe many people fail to consider, are immense. This isn’t just about contracting the virus; it’s about whether hospital policies will permit K to be present before, during, and after birth (the thought of being alone at such a crucial moment, or separated from our baby for long, is terrifying). It also factors into our consideration of alternative birth plans and what our insurance might cover during a public health crisis. Let’s just say I’ve always hated group projects, and this pandemic experience only reinforces why!
This pandemic is exactly why I hated group projects in school.
— erin mallory long (@erinmallorylong) June 25, 2020
How Are We Feeling: Physically and Emotionally
Emotionally, for much of the time, I don’t feel drastically different. In fact, I often feel a surprising neutrality, which sometimes makes me question if I should be experiencing more intense mood swings or a stronger emotional shift. I suspect it’s a complex blend of emotions where the highs are intertwined with moments of feeling utterly drained, resulting in a somewhat balanced, yet undefined, emotional state. I find myself more worked up about the daily news cycle than anything else, so I consciously strive to stay informed while also creating necessary space for myself, as stress management is incredibly vital during these months. There’s a profound amount to consider with a little one on the way, pondering what parenting will entail as we endeavor to raise a kind, compassionate human being.
During the first trimester especially, I was extremely cautious, hesitant to risk anything. Even without personally experiencing pregnancy loss, I have enough friends who have, so the possibility was never far from my mind. I constantly felt as though I might jinx ourselves if I bought anything baby-related, shared the news too widely, or even saved baby-related bookmarks in my browser history. It was a period of intense quiet anticipation.
A significant concern for me is ensuring K feels special and included throughout this journey, particularly as I feel COVID-19 is inadvertently robbing him of some key experiences. He isn’t permitted to attend my ultrasound appointments, and that absolutely SUCKS. I fully understand and respect the rationale behind these restrictions, but I confess to feeling anxious about potentially receiving difficult news alone. I profoundly wish he could be there to hold my hand, and I know he feels the same way. Thankfully, video calls are allowed during these appointments, but it’s simply not the same as having direct support in the room and the feeling of complete inclusion. The situation for the fall and delivery time remains somewhat uncertain, and policies vary by state (I know someone whose husband is allowed at appointments), so we’re trying not to dwell on it excessively but also prepare for potential rule changes. Maintaining this delicate balance is incredibly tricky!
Physically, on the other hand, the journey has presented far more noticeable ups and downs. The first trimester was quite challenging due to overwhelming exhaustion and persistent “morning sickness” (P.S., I’d love to send a large box of spiders to the individual who popularized that misleading misnomer!). In the second trimester, I’ve been focusing on catching up with weight gain. I also confess to now HATING my breasts – I knew they would enlarge, but I already had ample, so, come on! No strange cravings have emerged yet, but pickles have definitely become my ultimate favorite snack (I loved them before pregnancy, but they taste even better now!). A rather peculiar symptom I’ve developed is a constant clicking sensation in my left ear, similar to having water in it, which is attributed to pregnancy-related congestion. Most of the other typical discomforts, such as ligament pain, dizziness, sleep disturbances, and headaches, are present but generally manageable. Oh, and I REALLY miss my craft beer!
All in all, I’m beginning to realize I might just be one of those individuals who isn’t entirely enamored with the state of being pregnant (I’ve always struggled with body image, and this certainly compounds it). I’m actively learning to accept that it’s perfectly normal not to love every moment of pregnancy, even when you deeply love and anticipate the result. So, I consistently remind myself of tiny fingers and toes, and that it’s completely normal to tire of the taste of prenatals after chewing them daily for months. 😉
K, bless his heart, doesn’t always vocalize his stresses, especially if he thinks it might add to mine. However, it manifests in discernible ways, such as increased nesting activities, meticulous financial planning, and frequent check-ins with me. Where my sense of urgency for crossing off to-do lists has somewhat diminished (largely due to tiredness), he has dialed up his activity a notch – particularly concerning the guest room, as he hopes his mom can stay for a while when the baby arrives. He’s also taken over all the grocery shopping to keep me out of public spaces, and is doing most of the cooking (phew!). I truly appreciate and can see the immense effort he’s pouring into this precious “time-before-baby” that we share together. In general, he’s absolutely kicking butt. ❤️
How Is Baby Carter Doing? Health and Milestones
Our little Baby Carter is doing wonderfully – healthy and developing exactly as expected! This vital fact is what I anchor myself to whenever I feel overwhelmed or down about the COVID-19 situation, as I am fully aware of how superficial my other worries are in comparison. We feel incredibly lucky and profoundly grateful to have a healthy little kiddo on the way.*
*To clarify, even amidst my occasional “whining” in this post, I am profoundly grateful. My mind sometimes focuses on worries and negatives, but the underlying gratitude is always present.
I experienced my first fluttery kick around 4 AM about three weeks ago; I tried really hard to rouse K so he could feel it too, but he was deep in sleep. That moment made everything feel infinitely more real and triggered my very first wave of feel-good pregnancy hormones. Since then, K has felt several more distinct thumps and lovingly enjoys reading articles to my belly. This part of the journey has been truly fun and sweet for us. At the 20-week ultrasound, I was immensely relieved and overjoyed to hear all the baby’s measurements were perfect and to witness their lively activity on screen.
Have The Pups Noticed A Change?
Our beloved pups have definitely picked up on something! They’ve become notably more cuddly, leading us to believe they sense a significant change of… something. K and I have spent countless hours making predictions about how they’ll react and behave once their new human sibling arrives. It’s an amusing anticipation game!
(And, as is often the case with our furry friends, they proved less than cooperative when we tried to get an amazing shot with my custom-made signs from my talented friend Lizzy! This was the ONE thing I tried to arrange early with huge expectations for the photos… and it certainly did not work out as I hoped! 😂)
Do You Have A Name Picked Out?
Yes, we have decided on the first name, but the middle name is still a work in progress! We’ve chosen to keep the full name a secret until our little one makes their grand debut. In the meantime, purely for our amusement, we’ve been affectionately calling the baby all sorts of outlandish names that we know for certain won’t be their actual name.
Future Content: Baby On The DIY Blog?
First and foremost, it’s crucial to reiterate: this is, and will remain, a DIY, maker, and home improvement blog. We have absolutely zero plans to shift its core focus! I’ve always woven personal narratives into our content, sharing insights into dating life, delightful pupdates about our dogs, and other personal reflections in the past. I fully expect this approach to continue, maintaining a balanced blend of personal and project-oriented posts.
My “mommy blogging” participation will likely be curated and consist of a few sporadic updates about my pregnancy journey. This might include sharing the story of how we found out the baby’s sex, perhaps a fun taste test of mocktails and the burgeoning market of non-alcoholic spirits, or even a future birth story. I might also compile lists of helpful items I discovered during pregnancy or those invaluable for the first few weeks with a newborn. Nursery-related DIYs are certainly within the realm of possibility – in fact, they’re highly anticipated! However, I confess to a slight hesitation when it comes to posting about baby-specific builds, as people often hold very STRONG opinions on projects involving infants. But, I may just decide to let everyone get over it and post anyway, sharing our unique creations!
I also harbor strong feelings about our little one’s privacy as they grow and develop. I intend to be very cautious about over-sharing their personal details. While I’m comfortable being an open book about myself, I feel a healthy distance and discretion, similar to how I protect K’s privacy, is essential for our baby’s well-being and future. It’s a delicate balance we plan to navigate carefully.
Where Will The Nursery Go? Our Home Office Transformation
Our little one’s nursery will be taking over my “old” office space! This transformation is part of a larger, ongoing shift within our small home.
Given the compact nature of our home, we don’t have an abundance of spare rooms to readily convert into a nursery. However, during the work-from-home adjustments necessitated by COVID-19, K took the initiative to transform the guest bedroom into his own dedicated office space. He even “stole” one of the desks I had meticulously built for my own office. Update: he’s now managed to steal both of them!
Consequently, I became acutely aware of how close his new office door was to my own home office, leading to a distinct feeling of being “smothered”! This prompted me to relocate my computer work downstairs to the dining room. There, I made two significant discoveries: 1) how much I absolutely love gazing out of the large window in that space, and 2) how infrequently we actually use that room for dining. It quickly became clear that I could easily make this change permanent and happily establish the dining room as my new, bright, and spacious office.
This domino effect perfectly positions my old home office, right next to our bedroom, to be primed and ready for its transformation into the nursery! This shift, of course, influences plans for other rooms, but I’ll delve into those details in a future post. As an exciting update, I’ve now made my previously secret nursery Pinterest board public! You can now browse through some of the inspiring rooms and decor ideas that have sparked my imagination. I started compiling it a while back when I first began dreaming of baby decor, but had to keep it under wraps to avoid revealing our big news too soon! 😉
Can I Give You Advice? Navigating Unsolicited Tips
Ah, the classic question! I’ll cautiously say sure to advice, knowing full well I might regret saying “yes” outright – because I’m fully aware it’s going to happen anyway! I anticipate that tips on everything from breastfeeding techniques to remedies for pregnancy aches and pains will be par for the course. And honestly, a lot of this advice will likely be incredibly awesome and genuinely useful, as there’s immense value in learning from those who have walked this path before (much like when I sought advice from two friends about choosing the right prenatal vitamin).
That being said, please **expect me to find my own way** or to not always display overt enthusiasm for advice unless I’ve specifically asked for it. After all, my established approach to any new project or challenge, particularly in the DIY realm, involves extensive research, problem-solving, and a significant amount of learning as I go. While the prospect of a baby is certainly intimidating in its unique complexities, my fundamental approach to navigating this new territory isn’t significantly different. It’s about empowering myself with knowledge and making choices that resonate with our family’s unique needs.
I am acutely aware of how much I don’t know – almost to a deliberate extent. There’s simply too much information out there, often with conflicting opinions, to absorb all at once without feeling completely overwhelmed. My strategy is to research each specific thing as I encounter it, allowing me to learn and adapt without undue stress. I’m thoroughly enjoying the insights and information I’m gaining from my pregnancy apps. Some days, I dive deep into extensive information-seeking “rabbit holes,” and other days, all I crave is pizza and an evening in front of the TV. I’m confident that we have a strong support system in place, which provides immense comfort. Setting expectations, however, is proving to be challenging, given our many enthusiastic siblings and family members eagerly awaiting our little peanut’s debut. I am incredibly grateful for their excitement, but it also comes with a layer of anxiety.
Having experienced plenty of unsolicited advice and opinions on social media as a DIYer, I’ve come to plainly accept the reality that some judgmental negativity or “just you wait!”-type comments are inevitably headed my way. I am fully prepared to flex my eye-rolling muscles every time someone feels compelled to inform me about impending sleep deprivation or the drastic changes our lives will undergo. 😂 As most humans in my position would be, I will be sensitive to criticism, even if it’s constructive. I have a feeling that the phrase, “Are you a doctor? More importantly, are you MY doctor?” will pass through my lips at least once in the coming months.
Have More Questions? Ask Away!
While I haven’t frequently done Q&A style posts in the past, I’m genuinely game to give it a try for this exciting new chapter! Please feel free to submit any additional questions you might have using the form below, and I’ll do my best to address them in an upcoming baby-related post. Your engagement means the world to us!
A Heartfelt Thank You & What’s Next!
Update: To all of you, thank you, SO MUCH, for the outpouring of love and thoughtful comments on this post! It truly means the world to us, and we are so incredibly glad to be sharing this monumental journey with you, our wonderful community! Up next, you can look forward to seeing mood boards for both the nursery and my new office space, along with updates on some of the other DIY projects we’ve been making progress on over the last couple of months but haven’t quite finished yet. So many exciting changes are on the horizon, and I am profoundly grateful that so many of you are coming along for the ride!